Wisdom (My Blood Approves series) Read online

  “Oh come on, Alice, it’ll be fun!” Milo said with far too much glee. “This’ll be so good for you. And you don’t even have to get up early. It’s way better than what I’m doing.”

  “Good luck.” Ezra stood up and smiled down at me.

  “Hey, wait. Why did you pick these books?” I asked. “I mean, the history I kinda understand. But why an anatomy text?”

  “You said you wanted to be a doctor.” Ezra shrugged. “I thought it might pique your interest.”

  He left me alone with Milo, who immediately launched into the history book. Shock of all shocks, Milo happened to be a history buff. He especially liked the really old stuff, like about Mesopotamia and early civilization, but all history fascinated him.

  “If we don’t learn from our mistakes, we’ll be doomed to repeat them,” Milo said when he noticed my interest waning. “You need to know what other people did so you don’t do it.”

  “That’s really good advice, but it’s not like I plan on ever leading a revolution or anything,” I said.

  “You might,” Milo smiled. “We’re gonna be around for a long time. Who knows what you’ll end up doing.”

  I studied with Milo for two more hours, but thankfully, Bobby came home and rescued me. He’d been working on some dramatic arts piece, and it ended up running late.

  At first, I was relieved to see Bobby. I tried to engage him in real conversation, since Milo’s incessant talk of history turned my mind to mush. But almost immediately after Bobby got home, they started making out.

  It was just as well, since I had to get ready to go over to Olivia’s. I showered and dressed, and when I left, Milo and Bobby were still in the living room, whispering sweet nothings to each other.

  As I sped downtown in the Audi, I thought about how weird it was that I’d been so nervous about driving. I loved driving. Speeding through the lanes of traffic on I-35 with Metric blasting out the car stereo had to be in my top five favorite activities.

  My joy over the car ride stopped when I caught sight of a billboard. It showed a gorgeous guy in black and white, his shirt open to reveal the perfect muscles of his abs. He looked bored in that off-handedly sexy way all models seemed to. The ad mostly featured his torso, with only the waistband of his pants showing above the bottom of the billboard, so naturally, it was advertising jeans.

  That’s not what made me sneer or stop singing along with the radio. The guy in the ad – that was Jonathan, Jane’s “ex-boyfriend,” for lack of a better term. The last time I’d seen him, he’d been gnawing out her throat, and that seemed like a marvelous idea to her.

  I pressed on the pedal harder so I could speed past it. I didn’t want to think about Jane anymore. At least not anymore tonight. I needed a day off from the constant guilt.

  When I arrived at V, I took the tunnel behind it so I wouldn’t have to deal with the crowd, but I peeked out onto the dance floor. Even though it was after midnight, the club looked to be down about a third of its normal capacity. That’s still a lot of people, but Violet hadn’t been kidding. The serial killer scare really had people locking their doors at night.

  That didn’t stop Olivia from finding guests. Even though she’d said she’d been cutting down on her blood intake, and for a while, she really seemed to be, the party was in full swing in the penthouse when I got off the elevator.

  Music with high bass and vocals that sounded like Maynard James Keenan pulsated through the room. The lights were dim, and the fifty or so people strewn about the place all seemed incredibly messed up. Humans and vampires alike were blitzed out in their own ways.

  I stood by the elevator for a minute. Watching two girls do a sinewy dance for a vampire, I considered leaving. In fact, I should leave. Olivia couldn’t train me in this condition, and I hated this shit. I didn’t live this lifestyle, and I didn’t approve of it in others. Getting drunk off human blood and using living beings to do it didn’t sit well with me.

  I turned to head out when Olivia spotted me. She’d been on the far side of the room, lounging on a faux bearskin rug. Before I made my escape, she called my name and scrambled to her feet, nearly tripping over someone in her race to stop me.

  “Alice! I’ve been waiting for you!” She ran to greet me, and she didn’t seem drunk at all. If she had been, I would’ve left right then and there.

  “Yeah, I can tell.” I scanned the room, looking as disapproving as possible.

  “I would’ve called you, but you know how I feel about cell phones.” Olivia waved her fingers dismissively. “I’ve found someone for you train with.”

  “Can I come back tomorrow to meet them?” I asked.

  The room filled with the fresh scent of blood, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a vampire bite into a guy’s neck.

  “You’re already here.” Olivia put her hand on my arm. I could pull away, but I sighed and decided against it. “Shall we go to the roof?”

  I followed Olivia up the stairwell to the roof, and she whistled Ode to Joy. Olivia pushed the door open to the roof, and the blast of icy winter air filled the stairwell. When we reached the roof, I saw Violet at the edge of the roof, admiring the view.

  “What the hell is she doing here?” I froze.

  “She’s going to train with you,” Olivia smiled.

  “She can’t…” I wanted to pull Olivia aside but Violet had already seen us. “This is highly inappropriate, Olivia.”

  “Nonsense.” Olivia brushed off my concern. “Violet and I were talking, and she’s had to master a lot living on the streets. We had a practice fight today, and she’s good. She’ll give you a taste of what fighting a real vampire would be like.”

  “But Olivia-” I started but she cut me off.

  “You needed more help than I could give,” she said simply.

  “I know that I wanted to train, but I don’t ‘need’ help.” I watched Violet walk around the edge of the roof and pick up a long metal pipe, a part broken off an old antenna.

  “Oh, but sweetheart, you do,” Olivia touched my arm. “You’ve got that draw to you, and I’ve seen it in a few vampires before. It always gets you in trouble.”

  “Draw? What the hell does that mean?” I asked.

  “It’s something in your blood. I don’t know why it happens, but I understand little of why things happen.” She looked at the cityscape. “You’re like a beacon of light, and other vampires are moths. Not all of them are affected as strongly as others, but we all feel it, to some extent.”

  “What are you talking about?” I demanded.

  “You sound ready for a fight,” Violet smirked and flipped the pipe over her shoulders, moving like a ninja with a bo stick.

  “No, I’m not,” I shook my head. “I just wanna know what she’s talking about.”

  “Train with her.” Olivia gave me a serious look. “She’s better than I am.”

  “Are you ready?” Violet asked, even though I clearly wasn’t.

  Olivia backed towards the stairs, and I took a step after her. When I did that, Violet appeared next to me, flicking the pipe in front of me so fast, it nearly hit me in the gut.

  “What hell are you doing?” I asked.

  “I wanna see what you can do.” She shrugged and flipped the pipe again. I bent backwards, as if doing the limbo, and nearly missed it striking me in the chin. “Nice reflexes.”

  I heard the door swing shut, and I looked back to see that Olivia had gone downstairs. I broke my attention from Violet for a second, and the bo struck me hard across the head.

  “Pay attention,” she commanded.

  Once the blinding pain in my skull stopped, along with the tingling as the fresh gash healed, I growled and dove at her. I didn’t want to be training. I wanted to know what the hell Olivia meant, and I didn’t even really trust Violet. I tended to hate people that hit me in the head without warning.

  When I lunged at her, she easily moved out of the way. I’d seen vampires move faster than her, like the lycan Stellan who’s speed
was something that bordered on teleportation. But Violet had a quick grace that made me blink my eyes to be sure she was really gone.

  Then she was behind me, nearly striking me in the back, so I leapt into the air, doing a back flip before landing on the roof. I’d actually never done that before, at least not reflexively. I wanted to take a second to admire how bad ass that was, but Violet charged at me again.

  “It’s not fair that you have a weapon!” I shouted as she swung the rod out, trying to swipe out my legs, but I jumped up over it. She moved to stab at the air, so she’d hit me if I jumped again, and I dropped to the ground, lying flat on my belly.

  “Who said life was fair?” Violet shot back, and I narrowly rolled out of the way. She drove the pipe into the roof, and if I hadn’t moved, she would’ve impaled me through the stomach. I leapt up to my feet and knew I had to launch a counter attack, or this would just keep going.

  I ran to the edge, and she threw the pipe like a spear, aiming it so it would hit the center of my back. I ran forward and jumped up, landing with my feet on the railing at the edge of the building. I pushed off and leapt backwards, feeling the pipe as it grazed the back of my calf before soaring off the building.

  I flipped backwards and stretched my feet out in front of me. Violet moved, so instead of my feet colliding with her head the way I’d hoped, I merely kicked her in the chest. I landed on her, but I didn’t even pin her down. She had me flipped over onto my back, one of her hands gripping my shoulders.

  Raising my feet up, I pressed them into her stomach so I could push her off me. She moved her hand back in swift movement, grabbing something from the back of her jeans. I started to kick her off, then I felt a sharp pain in my chest as she poked something in it.

  I looked down and the saw the pointed edge of a titanium stake pressed above my heart, hard enough to stain my shirt with blood.

  10

  “What the hell do you want?” I asked, my breath coming out in rasps. Terrified adrenaline pulsed through me, but I wasn’t sure that I could get her off me before she drove the stake through my heart.

  “I wanna make sure you don’t get caught off guard like this again.” Her violet eyes held mine, looking at me solemnly, then she got off me.

  “What the fuck was that?” I jumped up, holding my hand over my heart. I had no serious injury, and the small wound would heal within minutes, but for a second there, I’d been certain she was gonna kill me.

  “You’ve got good reflexes, and I think you have some real strength under there,” Violet said, ignoring my confusion and rage. She brushed the dirt off her clothes and smoothed out her shirt. “But you need to think more, be less impulsive. You need to plan out your attack. Have you ever played chess?”

  “Once and I suck at it,” I said. “But you nearly killed me!”

  “I didn’t come anywhere close to killing you.” She rolled her eyes. “If I really wanted to kill you, you’d be dead.”

  “So what were you doing then? That’s not training! That’s like… attempted murder.” I fumbled for a biting comeback, but it didn’t faze her at all.

  “I want you to remember that. What it felt like believing you would die. If you really feel it, really own how horrifying it is, you’ll make sure that you never feel that way again.” Violet pointed at me using the stake, and that didn’t really make me feel any better.

  “I already don’t want to die. I’ve been in shit before. I know what it’s like to fight your life,” I said. “You didn’t need to do that.”

  “Maybe, maybe not.” She wagged her head.

  “How did you learn how to fight like that?” I asked. “You weren’t that good the last time I saw you.”

  “No, I was, but Lucien wasn’t, and I let him call the shots,” she shrugged. “That was stupid. But living on the streets, alone, a lot of vampires will mess with you. You have to learn to fight back, or they’ll kill you.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” I said quietly.

  “It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head as she walked back towards the stairwell. “Come back tomorrow. We can practice more then.”

  “Wait. Do you know what Olivia meant by what she said? That I have a ‘draw?’” I asked.

  “Who knows what Olivia means,” she replied and went inside.

  I rubbed at my chest, and my heart still pounded heavily underneath. I looked around, but I couldn’t admire the skyline the way I normally did. I thought about how terrified I had been in that split second when I really believed Violet meant to kill me. I wondered if Jane felt like that. If she knew she was going to do die.

  I climbed up on the edge, standing on the wall so my shins pressed against the railing. I could see the spot where Jane had been found, and I wondered if I would live if I jumped. My bones are hard to break, but it’s not impossible.

  Swallowing hard, I stared down for a minute. It was so hard to fathom life and death anymore. The idea of both had become such foreign concepts to me. In order to live forever, I’d be constantly surrounded by death. I’m not sure I could ever get used to that.

  When I walked through the penthouse, I didn’t look for Olivia to say goodbye. I just wanted to get out of there. I raced home to a quiet house, disappointed to find everyone in bed. Matilda was the only thing awake, and I stood outside with her, watching her play.

  My body still rang with adrenaline. I didn’t want to sleep, but I couldn’t think of anything better to do. I made Matilda sleep with me since I didn’t want to be alone. She usually slept by the door when Jack was gone, as if she could summon him that way.

  Eventually, I managed to fall asleep, but it was fitful. Nightmares plagued me, and I kept having that same feeling I had when I’d been Australia. That panicked paralysis, and I’d wake up and kick my legs just to prove I could move.

  Jack came into the room late that afternoon, sneaking as quietly as he could. Matilda whimpered with happiness, and he tried to shush her, so I pretended to be asleep. He climbed in bed and laid next me, his chest pressed to my back. When he wrapped his arm around me, I snuggled deeper into him.

  “I missed you,” I said, holding his arm to me.

  “I missed you, too.”

  He kissed the back of my neck and hugged me tightly. He held me for a minute and then propped himself up on his elbow. I rolled onto my back so I could look up at him, and his blue eyes were etched with worry.

  “Is something wrong?” Jack asked.

  When I looked into his eyes, his feelings hit me even more intensely. His love and concern wrapped around me, enfolding me like a blanket and pushing away whatever I’d been feeling before.

  “I’m just glad you’re home.” I reached up and touched his face, soft skin heating up against my touch.

  He leaned down and his lips met mine. I kissed him deeply, parting his lips hungrily, and pulling him to me. The more I kissed him, the more he washed over me, and I needed him.

  I needed to love him and feel how much he loved me. I had to erase all the horrible things I’d been feeling, and Jack was the only one that could really make me feel good.

  I buried my fingers in his hair, and he moaned against my mouth. He was surprised by my reaction, but it didn’t excite him any less. His hands roamed over my body, getting stronger and more forceful as they moved over my smoldering skin.

  I stopped kissing him, and without thinking, I put my mouth on his neck and bit him. He gasped with surprise, but it quickly turned into a breathy moan. He’d bitten me several times, but this was the first time I’d bit him.

  His blood hit my tongue, and the heat jolted through me, searing my veins. He tasted sweeter than honey and stronger than alcohol. He burned down my throat, with a pleasurable flame. I buried my fingers deeper in his flesh, digging them in so hard, it had to hurt, but I couldn’t stop. I only gripped him tighter and swallowed him down.

  His love felt amazing. It was like I could read his soul, and his kindness and sincerity always stunned me. I couldn’t believe
that anything could be as simply good as he was, and it pushed away any negative feelings I had. I could only feel him radiating through me.

  My whole body pulsed in time with his heartbeat. I could feel him in every inch of my body, pouring through me. Pleasure ripped through me, and my heart felt it might explode.

  Something changed. Something dark flickered through him, and I could taste it. Biting him still made him feel wonderful, and he groaned with pleasure, but something was off.

  Almost too late, I realized it was death. I’d been drinking him for too long. His life was fading, to a dangerous level, and if I didn’t stop, I could kill him.

  Even with that thought, it was a fight to unlatch myself from his throat. I tasted it again, that darkness ebbing in and leaving bitter fear lingering on my tongue.

  I jerked back, swallowing down what blood clung to my mouth, and Jack collapsed on the bed. He gasped for breath, and I’m not sure if it was because he was having trouble breathing now, or if he’d forgotten to breathe when I bit him.

  Whenever Jack stopped biting me, I felt his painful cold separation, but when I stopped biting him, I felt nothing of the sort. I felt fuller than I ever had before, but in a really wonderful way. Like I was complete, whole for the very first time.

  His blood made me woozy, and the whole world seemed to glow. The colors were so bright, they were almost painful to look at it. My vision had a hazy, blurred quality around the edge, and I struggled to sit up. Faintly, underneath that, I could feel weakness emanating from Jack.

  “Jack.” I reached out for him, touching his face, and his skin felt cold. “Jack. Are you alright?”

  I listened, and I couldn’t hear his heartbeat. I couldn’t hear anything or feel anything from him. For the most horrifying moment of my life, I thought I’d killed him.

  Then Jack exhaled deeply, and his heart thudded.