Torn Read online

  In general, he had gotten pretty good at it, but there were a lot of times when I ate things just to make him happy. And also, I’d starve if I didn’t.

  “Oh yeah, right,” Willa scoffed. “Like I’m gonna trust a mänks in sweats and a baby tee to make me pancakes.”

  “Willa,” I said. “He’s my brother, okay? So lay off.”

  “What?” She tilted her head, not fathoming what I meant. “Oh. You mean he’s your host brother?”

  “Yeah.” I took a big forkful of the pancake and shoved it in my mouth.

  “You know he’s not your real-”

  “Willa!” I snapped with a mouthful of food, and I choked it down. “I understand the semantics. Now drop it.”

  “I can understand how that dweeb Duncan can eat that.” Willa smoothed out her designer outfit, trying not to look offended that I’d snapped at her. “But you’re a Princess. He’s too stupid to-”

  “Hey!” Matt had been sitting next to Duncan, eating, but he stopped and glared at her. “I get it. You’re fancy and pretty and rich. Good for you. But unless you wanna go over there and make us all breakfast, then I suggest you quit your bitching and sit down.”

  “Whoa!” Rhys laughed. He loved seeing her put in her place.

  Willa made a face at Rhys but didn’t say anything. When Matt went back to eating his pancakes, she sat down on the stool next to me.

  From when I’d seen her, she walked around with a sense of entitlement. She was nice to me because she thought we were equals, but she definitely didn’t feel the same way about everyone else.

  “I am thirsty,” Willa said after a minute, sounding pouty.

  Automatically, Duncan started getting up to get water for her, but Matt shook his head, stopping him. Uncertainly, Duncan sat back down. As a tracker, he spent a lot of his life waiting on changelings. Trackers were considered staff and treated as such by most of the royalty.

  “You know where the fridge’s at,” Matt said between bites.

  Willa opened her mouth but didn’t say anything. She turned to me, hoping I would come to her aid, but I only shrugged. She did know where the fridge was at, after all.

  After a minute of deliberating, she got up and went over to the fridge. Rhys snickered under his breath, but Matt shushed him.

  I found the whole thing kind of amazing. Finn had been Willa’s tracker, and a strict one at that. But she never listened to him or treated him with as much respect as she did Matt, who by Trylle standards was much lower in rank than Finn.

  In the five minutes he’d known her, Matt had managed to whip her into shape better than anyone else had.

  Willa hung around me for the rest of the afternoon, and she seemed relieved when we split off from Matt and Rhys. Rhys wanted to play some war video game or something, and I didn’t feel like it.

  Willa and I stayed in my room. Duncan stood outside my door for a bit, but eventually I felt sorry for him, so I had him come in and sit down.

  Willa sorted my clothes because she liked doing that, and I lay on the floor, watching her and thinking about how weird it was that this was my life. She organized them in some way that I didn’t understand, even after she’d explained it to me.

  All the while, she talked about how great her training had been going. Willa had the power over the wind, and she hadn’t thought anything of it before the attack. Now she wanted to be prepared and be as strong as she possibly could.

  She figured that my training would start right away, too. I needed to be more prepared than anyone else here.

  The night went on much the same way, and I was surprised when she joined us for supper. This time she even ate what Matt cooked, and I felt as if the whole world was turning upside down.

  I went to bed shortly after, but I tossed and turned all night. My mind raced too much to really sleep. It felt like I’d only just fallen asleep when someone shook me awake. I pushed them off, snuggling deeper in my covers.

  It wasn’t until I had buried my face in my pillow that I realized that I should probably be alarmed that someone was in my room. What with evil trolls trying to kidnap me and all that.

  10. Repositioning

  “Holy hell!” Tove Kroner shouted and jumped back from the side of my bed.

  I’d sat up, almost leaping out of bed, preparing to attack whoever woke me up. It turned out to be Tove, and I didn’t understand what I’d done to him.

  As far as I knew, I hadn’t even reacted yet, other than sitting up. But Tove stood off to the side of the room, pressing his palms to his temples. He’d bent over, letting his dark hair fall around his face.

  “Tove?” I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and stood up. He didn’t respond so I stepped closer to him. “Tove? Are you okay? Did I do something?”

  “Yeah.” He shook his head and straightened up. His eyes were closed, but he’d dropped his hands from his head.

  “I’m sorry. What did I do?”

  “I don’t know.” Tove opened his mouth wide and stretched his jaw, reminding me of someone that had just been slapped in the face. “I came in to wake you up for your training. And you…”

  “Did I hit you?” I supplied when he trailed off.

  “No, it was in my head.” Tove stared thoughtfully for a minute. “No, you were right. It was like you slapped me inside my head.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, growing more bewildered by his description.

  “Have you ever done anything like that before? Maybe when you were scared?” He turned to look at me, ignoring my confusion to satisfy his.

  “Not that I know of, but I don’t even know what I did.”

  “Hmm.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Your abilities are still developing. They should fully present themselves soon, and maybe this is part of that. Or maybe it’s just because I’m me.”

  “What?”

  “Because I’m psychic,” Tove reminded me. “Your aura is very dark today.”

  He couldn’t read minds or anything, but he could sense things. I projected, so I could get in people’s minds like Elora and use persuasion, and Tove received, so he could see auras and was more sensitive to ideas.

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “You’re unhappy.” Tove sounded distracted, and he made for the door. “Hurry. Get dressed. We have much to do.”

  He left my room before I could ask him more, and I didn’t understand what Willa saw in him. I’m not sure if she really had a crush on him, or if it was only that his family was powerful. The Kroners were next in line for the crown, Tove specifically, if I couldn’t fulfill my duties.

  Tove was attractive, though. His dark hair had soft, natural highlights coursing through it, although it was longish and unruly, settling below his ears. His skin was tanned with a mossy undertone, the green complexion that occurred in some powerful Trylle. Nobody here had skin like that, except maybe his mother, but hers was even fainter than Tove’s.

  I didn’t understand why Tove would be training me. I’m not sure that Elora approved of him, even if he had connections. Besides that, he was scatterbrained and a little strange.

  Tove did have the strongest ability out of any of the Trylle I’d met. This was particularly weird since men usually had weaker abilities than their female counterparts did.

  I wanted to get a handle on my abilities, and it’d do me good to spend the day doing something other than moping around the way I had lately. I dressed quickly and left my room to find Tove chatting with Duncan.

  “Ready?” Tove asked without looking at me. He started walking before I answered.

  “Duncan, you don’t need to come with us,” I told him as I hurried after Tove. Duncan followed me the way he always did, but he slowed.

  “It’s probably best if he does,” Tove said, tucking his hair behind his ears.

  “Why?” I asked, but Duncan smiled, excited to be included.

  “We need someone to test on,” Tove replied matter-of-factly, and Duncan�
�s smile instantly faded.

  “Where are we going?” I nearly jogged to keep up with Tove, and I wished he would slow down.

  “Did you hear that?” Tove stopped abruptly, and Duncan almost ran into him.

  “What?” Duncan looked around, as if expecting an attacker to be waiting behind a closed door.

  “I didn’t hear anything,” I said.

  “No, of course you didn’t.” Tove waved me off.

  “Why wouldn’t I? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Because you’re the one that made the sound,” Tove sighed, still looking at Duncan. “Are you sure you didn’t hear anything?”

  “No.” Duncan looked over at me, hoping I could shed light on Tove’s random behavior, but I shrugged. I had no idea what he was talking about.

  “Tove, what’s going on?” I asked, speaking loudly so he’d pay attention to me.

  “You need to be careful.” Tove cocked his head, listening. “You’re quiet now. But when you’re upset, angry, scared, irritated, you send things out. You’re not controlling it, I don’t think. I can pick it up, because I’m sensitive. Duncan can’t and the average Trylle can’t, because you’re not directing it at them. But if I can hear it, others might too.”

  “What? I didn’t say anything,” I said, growing more frustrated with him.

  “You thought, I wish he’d slow down,” Tove said.

  “I wasn’t using persuasion or anything.” I was dumbfounded.

  “I know. You’ll get a handle on it, though,” he assured me, and then started walking again.

  He led us downstairs. I’m not sure where I thought he’d take us, but I was definitely surprised by where we ended up – the ball room that had been devastated by the Vittra attack. It had once been luxurious, very much like a ballroom from a Disney fairy tale. Marble floors, white walls with gold detailing, ceiling skylights, diamond chandeliers.

  After the attack, it looked very little like that. The glass ceiling had been crashed in, and to keep the elements out, blue and clear tarp had been laid over it, giving the room an odd glow. Shattered chandeliers and glass were still on the floor, as well as broken chairs and tables. The floor and walls were blackened with damage from the fire and smoke.

  “Why are we here?” I asked. My voice still echoed, thanks to the room’s massive size, but it had been dampened by the tarps.

  “I like it here.” Tove held his hands out, using his telekinesis to push the debris more to the sides of the room.

  “Does the Queen know we’re here?” Duncan was uncomfortable being here, and I tried to remember if he’d been here during the attack. I hadn’t been paying that much attention, and I’d met far too many people that night to say for certain.

  “I’m not sure,” Tove shrugged.

  “Does she know you’re training me?” I asked. He nodded, looking around with his back to me. “Why are you training me? Your abilities aren’t the same as mine.”

  “They’re similar.” Tove turned around to face me. “And no two peoples are exactly alike.”

  “Have you trained anyone before?”

  “No. But I’m the best suited to train you,” he said and started rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

  “Why?” I asked, and I could see Duncan wearing the same dubious expression I did.

  “You’re too powerful for everyone else. They wouldn’t be able to help you tap into your potential because they don’t understand it the way I do.” He’d finished rolling up his sleeves and put his hands on hips. “Are you ready?”

  “I guess,” I shrugged. I didn’t really understand what I needed to be ready for.

  “Move this stuff.” He gestured vaguely to the mess around the room.

  “You mean with my mind?” I shook my head. “I can’t do that.”

  “Have you tried?” Tove countered, his eyes sparkling.

  “Well… no,” I admitted.

  “Do it.”

  “How?”

  “Figure it out,” he shrugged.

  “You’re really good at this training thing,” I sighed.

  Tove laughed, but I did as I was told. I decided to start small, so I picked a broken chair nearby. I stared at in concentration. The only thing I knew how to use was persuasion, so I thought I’d go that way. In my mind, I repeated, I want the chair to move, I want-

  “Nope!” Tove said, snapping me out of it. “You’re thinking about it wrong.”

  “How am I supposed to think about it?”

  “It’s not a person. You can’t tell it what to do. You have to move it,” Tove said, as if that clarified anything.

  “How?” I asked again, but he didn’t say anything. “It’d be easier if you told me.”

  “I can’t tell you. That’s not how it works.”

  I grumbled a few unseemly remarks under my breath when I turned to the chair, preparing to get down to business.

  So I couldn’t tell the chair to move. I had to move it. How does that translate to thought? I squinted, hoping that might help somehow, and repeated, Move the chair, move the chair.

  “Now look what you’ve done,” Tove said.

  I didn’t think anything at all had happened, and then I saw Duncan walking towards the chair.

  “Duncan, what are you doing?” I asked.

  “I, uh… moving the chair. I guess.” He seemed confused but coherent, and once he picked up the chair, he gave me an even more bewildered look. “I don’t know where to, though.”

  “Set it anywhere,” I told him absently and turned to Tove. “I did that?”

  “Of course you did that. I could hear you chanting loud and clear, and if you’d harnessed it better, I’d be the one picking up the chair.” He crossed his arms over his chest, giving me a look that bordered on disapproving.

  “I didn’t try to do that. I wasn’t even looking at him.”

  “That makes it even worse, doesn’t it?” Tove asked honestly.

  “I don’t understand,” Duncan said. He’d set down the chair, and now free of his duty, walked over to us. “What are you expecting her to do?”

  “You need to control your energy before someone gets hurt.” Tove looked at me solemnly, his mossy eyes bravely meeting mine for almost a minute before he turned away. He gestured around his head, much in the same way Loki had when he explained how he knew I had persuasion. “You have so much going on. It comes off like a…”

  “Static?” I suggested.

  “Exactly!” He snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “You need to tune it, get your frequencies in check, like a radio.”

  “I would love to. Just tell me how!”

  “It’s not a matter of turning a dial. You have no on or off switch.” He walked around, in a large lazy circle. “It’s something you have to practice. It’s more like being potty-trained. You have to learn when to hold it and when to release.”

  “That’s a pretty sexy analogy,” I said.

  “You can move the chair.” Tove stopped suddenly. “But that can wait. You need to learn to rein in your persuasion.” He looked at Duncan. “Duncan, you don’t mind being experimented on, do you?”

  “Um… I guess not?” Duncan didn’t really know how else to answer. As my tracker, I’m not even sure he could answer differently.

  “Tell him to do something. Anything.” He tilted his head, still watching Duncan, then turned to me. “But make sure I can’t hear.”

  “How? I don’t even know how you are hearing,” I pointed out.

  “Focus. You have to focus your energy. It’s imperative.”

  “How?” I repeated.

  He kept telling me to do things without giving me any clue how. He might as well have been telling me to build a damn rocket ship. I had no idea what to do.

  “You were more focused when you were around Finn,” Tove said. “You were more grounded, in the way electricity is grounded.”

  “Well, he’s not here,” I snapped.

  “It doesn’t matter. He didn’t do anythi
ng,” Tove continued, unfazed. “You’re the one with the power. You grounded yourself around him. You tell me how.”

  I didn’t want to think about Finn or the way I had been around him. I had been excited for this training so it would distract me from thoughts of him. Now Tove was telling me that Finn was the key to my success. Perfect.

  Instead of yelling at Tove, I walked away. I hated the way he seemed to know everything, but lacked the ability to articulate anything. I stretched my arms and rolled my neck, working out the tension. Duncan started to say something, but Tove shushed him.

  Finn. When I was around Finn, what did I do differently? He made me crazy. He made my heart beat too fast and my stomach swirl, and it was hard to take my eyes off him. Whenever he was around, I’d hardly been able to think of anything.

  And that was it. It was almost too simple.

  When Finn was around, my focus had been on him. That restrained my energy somehow. If my conscious mind focused on something, the rest of my mind would pull itself in. Maybe my energy was going crazy now because I was trying not to think of Finn.

  Finn wasn’t the key. But when he’d been around, I had let my mind focus. When he wasn’t, I tried not to think of anything, because everything reminded me of him. Everything scattered all over, latching onto anything it could.

  I closed my eyes. Think of something. Focus on anything.

  Finn came to my mind first, the way he always did, but I pushed him away. I could think of something else. The first thing I thought of after him was Loki, and that shocked me, so I discounted him instantly. I didn’t want to focus on him. Or anyone, for that matter.

  I thought of the garden behind the palace. It was gorgeous, and I loved it. Elora had painted a beautiful picture of it, but it didn’t really do the place justice. I remembered the way the flowers smelled, and the way the grass felt cool on my bare feet. Butterflies had flown about, and I could hear the stream babbling past me.

  “Try it now,” Tove suggested.

  I turned to look at Duncan. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, and he gulped, as if he was afraid I might slap him. Keeping the image of the garden in my mind, I started repeating, Whistle Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. It seemed mundane, but that was the point. I didn’t want to hurt him.